The Ballad of Apollo
If there was a chimpanzee out there with a sweeter deal, then Apollo had never heard of him. Perhaps there was some ape out there who had a gorgeous partner and maybe a handful of dedicated deputies—but did he have a tyre swing? Was he able to ring his own personal bell whenever the fancy took him? Apollo didn't think so. Apollo would be very, very surprised if there existed a chimp on earth who had managed to negotiate as cushy a setup as he himself had.